Interviewing Burns is fun because he doesn’t hold back on much. I had a lot of shit I wanted to ask him so I figured an interview was in order. We discuss everything from leaving Duffs, Metal’s new manufacturer and becoming part owner of Metal… to fucking fat girls in the ass, whether Colt Fake is really gay and sleeping in a pool of semen. This is a good one.

So, you just moved to Washington right? Why did you move out there and is this your first time living outside of Mass?

Yeah Seattle chunks, basically moved there to help Jimmy with Metal, now that S&M is no longer running part of the show he’s gonna need the help of myself, Jeff Allen, Ferbert and Pat Doherty to make things work. Jeff and Ferbert are making the move this winter as well. First time, yeah. But I’ve been to Seattle 3 times a year for the past 4 years so it’s basically been a second home to me.

I guess since you mentioned it we should get that out of the way, what happened with Metal and S&M? Who is making the frames now?

Basically S&M is far too busy with Fit… and with Metal making a lot of similar things as S&M and Fit I think things just didn’t work out… It also didn’t help that Jimmy was in Seattle, WA and I was in Boston, MA and us not being in Southern Cali is kind of hard to get product rolling. There were a lot of reasons. I think it’s best for both of us that we split. Our parts and frames for ‘09 will be made by We The People.

I know Moeller and Jimmy go way back, was there tension between them that you know of or was it just a business decision?

I believe it was both of the two. I’d rather not get into details, I think those type of things should not leak and it’s none of anyone else’s business. Business wise, if we stayed with S&M, the way things were going, Metal would be out of business by springtime.

Word, so is everything moving a lot faster working with We The People? Are you guys going to be doing more parts and shit now?

Yes, way more chunks for the kids, we had restrictions with S&M. With WTP we can make anything. It’s moving along quick, quicker than I thought. The first 3 weeks, Harry already had shit rolling for Chris Wilsons signature frame, The Moon Unit. We’ll def be getting more parts made, and you know it’s going to be prime cut… Look at the quality of the Eclat parts its pure taste.

Oh yeah, so Jimmy mentioned in his EXPN interview that you are becoming part owner of Metal with him which is awesome… how did that come about? I think that’s dope because to the kids who might not really understand who Jimmy Levan is and what he’s done, you’re definitely the face of the company.

I’ve been planning to move out to Seattle for years now, just never really got around to it… This summer Jeff Allen, Ferbert and myself got the idea to move out there and it got Jimmy stoked to open up a new office and all work there. The part ownership thing I think has slowly happened over the last year, basically aside from Jimmy and Derick Gabbert, I’m the one dude on the Metal team that’s stuck with it… Been riding for Metal since 2001, I think with being on Metal so long and such, Jimmy just wants me to have part of it.

Nice. so also I wanted to ask how the Eclat thing came about… A lot of people were surprised when you got put on the team since a lot of the first products they showed online were things like the seat/seat post combo and shit, whereas you’re known for riding relatively heavy bikes and shit. But you have said on the board a couple times that the shit is super strong which is a pretty good co-sign for them.

Tunney came to me. Sent me a link with all the parts. At first I did notice a lot of plastic pedals and such… But also noticed there was a choice between Metal and plastic. I talked to Chester and he told me about the cranks. Cranks are a big thing for me. Jumping to flat… cranks are the one part you break like a mother fucker. So it seemed like a good idea.. I remember seeing Mike Brennan tried to barspin El Toro multiple times on a We The People with We The People wheels and thought… well fuck, the shit must be good. And it is all amazing, I just got some prototype 48 spoked wheels … they are tight and solid so far, I hope they decide to put them on the market.

Yeah I was going to ask if you’re riding 36’s for the time being.

Naw 48’s baby, I’ve had too many bad experiences with 36’s

Nice. So switching gears, I know you’ve probably talked about this a lot already but what was it like winning the NORA cup?

I didn’t know what to expect. When Fudger called me and told me I was in 5 nominations I felt like a small brown child being handed a gang bang nudie mag. It was really awkward for me. And then when I won it and got called up to stage it was even weirder… It might look like I like attention because I’m a weirdo and ride big and all.. but in reality I’m not into big crowds. All throughout childhood at my birthday parties I hid and hated it. I actually hate birthdays, I hate unnecessary attention. So to go up on stage in front of thousands of BMXers was really awkward. A bit hard to explain. I totally appreciate it though. It’s an honor for sure. It’s not something I ever imagined happening. It’s also the only trophy I’ve ever received. The best thing about it is my dad’s reaction. He said “How much money did they give you?” … I said, “nothing. Movie stars don’t get money when they win Ocars. Then he says, “yeah but they make millions, you’re a bum, congrats on bum of the year cup, now you can bum for change with it.”

LOL! That’s fucking awesome. Since you won though it seems like a lot of kids online have taken shots at you for the way you dress or ride and shit. Which is kind of funny because it’s the same shit you’ve been doing forever, you’re just getting more recognition now… when you read shit about yourself online does it bother you?

None of that really bothers me. The only thing i think is funny, and I think it’s the same guy over and over… says I’m trying to be Sid Vicious… It’s like as if some people who don’t like rock n roll think that Sid Vicious is the only guy to ever own a leather jacket. There’s always going to be haters. It makes for a good time actually, I’m entertained by it.

Yo you know that part in the Metal video where you’re chasing Jeff (Allen) with the snake? What is the deal with that? He seems really pissed which is funny because Jeff’s usually so friendly.

Jeff is deathly afraid of reptiles. We put a lizard in his bed one night , and I think he brought a girl home… The screams on that one were dad boned.

Haha. I’m sure a lot of people want to know what happened when you tire bonked that bum’s head on the Metal roadtrip in that Props.

Dean the filmer… Pointed out the ledge. With that bum hanging out and said that would be a good shot. I origonally was going to feeble up it and over him. But I looked at the run up and it was so whacky bonko… you had to ride over a sewer grated crack, hop up a curb, then immediately hop up a curb then hop up and over next to a pole and ride up a tire width ledge then hop him. I took one run up at it and said, nooooooo fucking way. Dean said “fuck it man, who cares you’ll make it”. I tried it… and as soon as I hopped I knew… So I took off my feet and hovered my weight forward. I’m sure if I stayed on my sprocket would have dug into his skull. I gave him 10 bucks, he got a bottle of wine, it was all gravy baby.

Hahahahha ah man. Oh yeah one more industry question… a lot of people were surprised when you quit Duffs after not being on the team too long. What caused that and do you have any new shoe sponsor plans?

I rode for Duffs from February to the end of August. They gave me 2 pairs of shoes in February…. come August I still only had those 2 pairs… which were duct taped together and totally killing my feet. My heels are still hurting from this Summer. I didn’t go out and buy shoes cause I thought “am i supposed to go out and purchase a pair of Duffs?” after they ran an Advertisement of me, and I still didn’t get any shoes… I figured… this is pointless.

Right. Can you say anything about future stuff?

As far as plans yeahh I got something lined up for ‘09.. It’s going to include me having to shoot I think 2 web videos a year or something but fuck it! Hahaha I’m not into web videos but I’m into the shoes so I think my foot in a fat girls butt might not be good but this will be taste, along with some other ideas I believe it’s a perfect fit. ‘Cause beforehand my feet been cold and wet like Eskimo pussy.

Say you fuck a girl in the ass. Do you go and wash your dick right away? I was arguing with one of my friends about this the other day. I wash my dick right away, because like, I don’t want shit residue on my underwear. But I never wash my dick after vaginal sex.

I never fuck girls butts that I’m not dating, and I rarely ever actually date girls haha, so um… No i don’t think I have washed my dick immediately after anal pumping. But eating girl’s butts and brushing your teeth is a total must. I’ve actually brushed a girls ass with a brush and paste it was pretty weird set up.

Yeah the few times I’ve eaten ass I like, didn’t even know what to do after. I knew I wanted to clean my mouth somehow but I didn’t know if brushing my teeth was enough. Like my teeth weren’t touching her ass. You brushed it??? Why?

I have always wanted to.

Just to feel the satisfaction of cleaning an asshole?

After I eat some booty juice I’m brushing my teeth, when you’re brushing your teeth after eating ass you get the idea

Yeah. I guess that’s not that weird.

It’s pretty regular, depending on the girl you’re with.

If you had to sleep in a 6 inch deep pool of one of the following liquids, which would you pick… shit, semen, blood or piss.

Blood

Yeah I guess that smell wise that’s probably the best one. It’s all about the smell really

Totally, plus blood can be sexy.

You don’t think piss can ever be sexy? I don’t have a fetish for it or anything but I can watch a girl piss and think it’s attractive.

I’ve experimented with the golden shower. And it’s not pretty hahah. But Polaroid photos of girls squatting with some leakage is definitely boner worthy… I hear ya.

I wouldn’t really want to get pissed on. I’d piss on a girl though, if she wanted me to.

I could only piss on a girl if she was ugly. It’s like in horror movies I’m always kind of disappointed when hot bitches get killed, its like, “ahh man you could have just fucked her”. Pissing on a hot stacked mama its like, “ahhh man now you cant fuck her shes totally nasty and degraded”, but ugly chicks seem fun to pee on.

Have you rode with Colt Fake yet? I know he’s repping Metal now which is pretty rad.

Colt and I have yet to shred boner any legit sessions, naw, just bar funk and weirdies… Def got to witness his and experience his party animal side. Perfect fit for Metal. He’s our future son.

Is BMX too homophobic?

Most human beings are homophobics. Lesbians are awesome.

Yeah but there was that photo of Colt on the site tucking his dick into a drunk guy’s asshole. And kids lost it. Even though just tucking your dick into a dude’s ass clearly doesn’t make you gay, everyone knows you have to actually enter the asshole itself to become gay officially.

Hahaha, that was amazing. Yeah I’m pretty sure Colt fucks a lot of fat chicks, Metal team style. I find it hard for one human being to be able to get and stay hard fucking a fat girls, then transferring to a hard boney man butt. It’s all comical.

Yeah that dude just seems like he is down to have a good time and doesn’t care.

Yeah and thats part of having balls, riding wise I think. I that are scared of the homophobic shits are probably also scared to jump more than 3 stair. Actually nevermind, there are some homophobic gnar riders out there, my bad.

OK, we can end this here I guess, give me your last word to end this shit on.

Fortified Pig with a Vacuum Gunn.